A letter from our friend John, to anyone in recovery.
All my friends in recovery,
I'm always on your side.
I think the hardest part of recovery isn't the want, or how can I not be sick, it's looking at your respective lives and not being happy. It's always about the person in the mirror, you’ve got to make that reflection at least partially happy, and respected, by the addict looking forward.
My name is John, I've been through hell and back a time or two. I never thought my problem was a problem until 1987, something happened that year that made me realize I had two choices; the penitentiary, or the morgue. In reality, I was really messed up, so I decided to do something, right or wrong. I didn't know what was next, so I called on an old friend, and thanks to US, I'm outside and alive. I would have been gone without my friend Curt.
My story began when I started smoking weed at twelve, selling weed at thirteen, then there was cross tops, mescaline, hash, actually if the drug was there, I’d take it. That continued on forever, I was introduced to cocaine at 20, and it never stopped. I chased that stupid bag around till I was 30 years and two weeks old. At the end of my freebasing days, I found heroin, I never shot it, but loved smoking it.
When you need someone, find them and tell them your story. Sure you need to look for help at your level, but they are everywhere wanting to help. Once you break the bonds of addiction, you’ll realize that you're not alone, your friends are all around you, WANTING to listen, and help if they can.
Once I left my drug "friends”, moved away, I changed my priorities, I made me number one, and made work my number one duty and drug. I'm no better than any of you, I'm just way stubborn, and I won the battle. I'm still an addict, however my addictions now are my family, and friends. I'm retired now, it took 29 years to get there, but it's attainable, if you take a serious look at that person in the mirror.
I don't know any of you, but I know every one of you that is listening to what I was asked to write, you don't need to be high to enjoy life. I'm not a religious man, but if you need that, you rock on, I just need friends and I hope all of you are just that now you have listened to my clean life story.
Everyday matters.
All my love, whatever that means,
John
October 25th, 1987
35 years, 9 months and 25 days clean (at time of posting)